No really… Why is parenting so hard?

We may give different explanations… Some of them are part of stories we recycle among ourselves — like the one that says “it’s because kids are kids” (whatever that means) and that “dealing with kids is hard” (ok, but why?)…. 

What I typically hear can be divided into reasons that have to do with the children (their behavior, needs, wants, etc.) or with lack of help. Or some other reason that has to do with external circumstances. These reasons may sound appealing and completely justified, but they are secondary to the true reasons, which lie much deeper. 

The true reasons have to do with ourselves. 

That’s good news, actually. Even though this may not sound very uplifting, I promise you, that getting in touch with the true reasons and knowing that all of them are in our control — is truly empowering. 

It may require some work, but this work is not harder than the parenting itself and is truly worth it. These are the things that make it hard and it is something we can change:

• our expectations about parenting and children
• lack of confidence in ourselves
• not understanding our own emotional life
• misunderstanding the parenting role

This week, I only have time to review each of the four ways in which we — unknowingly — make our own parenting difficult. But in the future episodes, we will explore each one of them separately and talk about specific tools to help you work through them.