Being respectful with children, no matter how frustrating they can be at times, is such an important contributing factor to their overall development. But the one thing we often miss is that treating children with respect also has a tremendous impact on how we feel about ourselves and our parenting.

 

 

When we treat children with respect, not only they do better, we do better too! If we don’t grasp that, we miss out on a very important emotional resource that can help us feel grounded and confident, and even help us thrive in our parenting journey.

 

Before we explore exactly how does this work, let’s first agree that “respectful” does not mean approving. It does not mean permissive either. It means seeing a child as a worthy human being and treating them with dignity. So of course, when we are able to see them this way, it helps them do well and helps them thrive. And this is because respect sends a series of affirming messages. When we treat children with respect, it is like we are telling them “I see you — you are special.”

 

Even for a child who is unsure of themselves, a consistent respectful treatment will help them see what they don’t see — their own worthiness. 

 

Let’s take a look at something similar, to see how simple this is. Let’s say you have a plant in your home. It will not do well if it is not seen as special. It will not be getting what it needs and it will not be attended to. But if we attend to it on a regular basis — something we would do if we do care about it and see it as valuable — then it will do well.

 

Even if it gets some sort of problem going on with it, we are likely to bring it back to a thriving state. And the same natural principle applies to children:

 

When we treat a child with respect, we show them they are worthy. When someone is acknowledged as valuable, their wellbeing is at optimal levels and that leads to thriving. 

But what happens to us, parents, when we treat children with respect? How does it impact the way we feel about parenting? How does it help us thrive?

If you think about it, we thrive when we have energy and when we have resources to meet our needs. Well, did you know that treating children with respect gives us more energy than doing the opposite? It is the most overlooked emotional resource, without which we are more likely to feel overwhelmed and depleted. 

 

Tune into this episode to explore these points with me: 

• Respect is an emotional resource.

• Treating children with respect is a form of self-respect.

• When we value something, we receive value from it.

• 3 Pillars of Respectful Interactions with Children

 

 

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