What do children really need from their parents? We often hear that all they need is love. How true is that?

What do children need most from their parents? We often hear that love is all that children need.

The words “love” and “need” are used every day, and because of that, they have come to mean many things. And yet the way we understand them is very influential in how we raise our children. So it is true that love is all our children need? 

Yes, it is. Love is all they need.
And no, it isn’t. Love is not all they need.

Which answer is the right one depends on what we mean by “love.” So if we think of love as something that looks like display of affection and delight with the child (smiles, hugs, kisses, etc.) then — no, love is not all our children need. 

They need more than our affection. 

If we think of love as something that goes beyond what is easily visible and has to do with care and attention, then — yes, perhaps that kind of love is all that’s needed. 

These two different interpretations of love towards children have significantly different developmental outcomes for them. We also have to remember that children need from us that which is in alignment of the ultimate goal:

…to raise a healthy independent adult.

How we interpret love can either lead to poor boundaries or can support the child’s development, self-regulation, and self-esteem. Tune in to Episode 008 of The Parenting Presence podcast to learn more.