It is the responsibility of the parent to meet the child’s needs. If we can tell apart the child’s needs from their wants, it becomes so much easier to do our job as a parent and set limits with confidence.

 

Why is it that we can assert ourselves with other adults, but give in with our children? Your perception of your child’s needs has a lot to do with it… Why is it that we can decline an invitation and say “Thank you for thinking of me, and I won’t be able to. I have made other plans.” Yet we feel forced into a game our child set up for us… It is harder to tell “No” to our children than it is to other people. 

Why is that?

Because we misunderstand what our role is as a parent and think that it is our responsibility to make sure our children have “everything they need.” And yes, of course, I agree with this — it is our responsibility to give children what they need — if we are indeed talking about the child’s needs.

 

Trouble is, we rarely slow down to consider the difference between Needs and Wants.

 

We respond to the child’s request on auto-pilot. Since the child is asking, it must be needed and, therefore, it is our job to fulfill the request. Seems logical and our autopilot response kicks in. But there must be a line there somewhere. Right?

 

Bending to every request the child makes is a hamster-wheel disaster.

 

Kids ask for things nonstop, and some of their requests are self-centered and unrealistic. So yes, there is a line between “Yes” and “No.” And that line lies in the difference between the true Needs and simply a Want.

 

Tune into this episode to learn more about that and to be able to say Yes or No with more confidence. 

 

Another thing that helps parent with confidence is learning about the role of emotions in parenting and child development. I invite you to participate in the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training. Sign up to get your invitation!