We bring our belief systems and values into our parenting. There is not way around it. And because of that, VALUES is another essential element to our parenting foundation.

Clarity around our values is essential in parenting. It helps us make confident choices. This is especially true when our options may be limited. 

When we have confidence in our choices, it positively impacts our parenting presence. When children sense our confidence, they feel a sense of security and comfort. 

Values are most clearly expressed in the choices we make.

The choice we make is always in favor of something we value. Sometimes these choices are easy to make (when one option clearly goes against our values) and sometimes they are more difficult (when both choices represent our values).  

For example:

1) serving cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner versus providing healthy meal options for kids (easy choice)

2) working long hours versus spending time with the kids (difficult choice when you have significant financial need, but also value quality time with family).

When we are faced with difficult choices, we may feel guilty for choosing one option over the other. This comes from an underlying assumption that we should be able to do all things, for all people, at all times. 

Not True.  

There naturally will be times we we would have to prioritize, and some things will move to #1 on our priorities list. This does not mean that other things are not valuable, but that they will have to wait. At times, a compromise is an answer, and when we can, we can go for that.

And to manage the guilt that may come from upholding one value over another, we need to remind ourselves that being able to do everything perfectly every single time is an unrealistic expectation. In fact, the opposite is true — priorities, flexibility, and compromises are OK. 

In this episode, we look at values from the standpoint of an internal system of beliefs and attitudes that guide our behavior. Whether we are aware of it or not, we parent from a place of beliefs and expectations, and every choice we make as parents is guided by our values.

We explore how VALUES apply to parenting in two ways. One, as our own guide and how it impacts our actions, what we decide to do, who we listen to, what we consider important, and so on. And another, as a guide we want our children to have – how we want our children to act and what we want to teach them.