There is a difference between kids who don’t do stuff simply because they don’t want to and those who would like to but can’t. It’s called avoidant tendencies.

 

Is your child simply unmotivated? Are they lazy? Or is there more to their lack of engagement? Let’s talk about the differences between kids who don’t do stuff simply because they don’t want to and those who would like to, but can’t. It is as if something is stopping them.

 

These are the kids with avoidant tendencies. They don’t just avoid activities that other children would also normally avoid. You know, things like chores or homework. Children with avoidant tendencies also avoid those activities that would typically be fun and enjoyable. Why is that?

 

At the core of avoidant tendencies is the child’s self-esteem and their sense of worth. They have learned to hide from and avoid discomfort from avoiding anything that is remotely likely to challenge their fragile self-perception. So much so that they are willing to trade fun and enjoyment in return for a sense of comfort.

 

A “Lazy Kid” will avoid a task because they have something more interesting and better to do (even when we don’t think so), but “The Avoider” will avoid anything that is remotely likely to cause discomfort. And when I say discomfort, I am talking about emotions, and not in a sense of inconvenience, as would be in the case of “The Lazy Kid.”

 

Sometimes it is easier to understand, if we were to exaggerate. And so we could also say that the “Lazy Kid” makes choices with their own personal interests in mind. For example, why go study, when they can play? But “The Avoider” often chooses against what they really want… just to avoid the sense of personal discomfort. So even when they want to play, something is holding them back. 

 

Tune into this episode to hear more about the difference between laziness and avoidant tendencies. And also, what to do to reduce them. 

 

PDF Guides and Resources mentioned in this Episode:

 

To get the “How to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem” PDF Guide, go here. 

To access the “How To Validate Your Child” PDF Guide, go here.

 

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